Wait, what the **** are you talking about now?

Late in November 2011, my e-mail account got hacked.
Sometime yesterday or today, the hacker made the mistake of changing it back to the same password I used back then.

Um...what...

So...the real Shane Neumann...never met me? Or anyone else?

...I'm not sure what to think...

Yep. User "The Eternal Darkness" impersonated me, and thus... the real Shane, the real me... is unknown to many.
... Well, except for a few details. Maybe he spied on me somehow, maybe he has a pet cat with a collar which has a camera hidden in it which he sends to spy on me, I don't know.
Why he chose to impersonate me, I don't know either.

... Bastard.

I cannot believe it. He who is a worthless person yet he has managed to outwit me, someone who is even smarter than him. This is inconceivable!
May you live in agony for the rest of your life, Shane Neumann. I will do what I can to cause more agony.

...

And that worthless bastard even took advantage of the "forgotten password" thing. This is not a good thing. Guess using a proxy server is a waste then...
To think that a mere idiot could outwit me. Hah. This is definitely unheard of...

"Worthless"? "Idiot"?
That's where you're entirely wrong.
You went on as though I was someone who every person in the entire planet hated. You made people think that my parents are abusive, that my life is a living hell.
Yet... that's where you're entirely wrong.

I have a few friends, although I don't have contact with them. My parents are not abusive. And my life is not a living hell, not as long as I can enjoy it to the best of my ability.

Gotcha. Fell right into my trap... you jerk.

After Shane made his post, I figured, if the guy who hacked his account found out about it, he'd make an alt account. So I made it easier to register... just to get you into a trap.
You're not going to get away with this, I assure you.

One of your many mistakes: the real Shane has a fear of gas masks, yet in those PMs I got from you at the Battle forums, you didn't act scared whenever I used that gas mask smiley. (Which explains why it's there in the first place.)
Immediately I figured that something was wrong, but what? I didn't know yet. I had to act as though I didn't notice anything.
Then, on 8 June 2013, you called Simba a "him" several times when I talked to you about her. I knew something wasn't right, but I just went along as though nothing was wrong.

I believe the proper phrase is, "you fail".

I thank you for setting that trap, ms. administrator.
You have my sincere gratitude.

I'll let the real Shane deal with you. Ban him and make him pay, Shane.

Done. Hopefully he won't be able to retaliate; I've banned his account and his e-mail.
I can't ban his IP, though, since, judging by that "proxy server" part in his post, he used a proxy server to access these forums and many other sites, possibly, and thus, banning his IP would result in someone else's IP getting affected as well... I guess. I know absolutely nothing about these sort of things...

And apparently there's an option to delete user accounts in the admin panel thing. I'm NOT going to delete that fool's account, because (1) it may give him a chance to strike again by making an alternate account and (2) the "Permabanned" user group was unused.

...

Checkmate, I suppose?